Two decades of being alive.

Picture is unrelated but god damn, I want this on a shirt.

Anyway, it actually feels weird saying that i'm 20. Did that sound too livejournal-ish? It could have been worse, I could have put one of these (>.<) in.

Last night I spent my birthday at a reasonable club with good people. I befriended and lied to numerous people (some people dance, I lie) that I was president of a literotica bookclub. Somewhere in between the lying and the heavy drinking some girl showed me her vagina as a birthday gift. I hope that girl comes across this blogspot by happenstance and realises that she made my night.

Girl, your super cute vagina and little landing strip made my heart melt. No one has the balls to show me their vagina.

Lesbian tiem nao

This is Emily and Naomi and they can't stop being cute.

They're two sexually confused college girls trying to find themselves in 10 episodes. Theres awkward kissing, fighting and a random eat-out-by-the-campfire scene. I fucking live for that shit. I've watched the third season of Skins in it's entirety and I kind of want a girlfriend now. I never had this in school, so i'm going to live vicariously through these two fictional characters. Obviously I can't go back to high school now, that's like a three year sentence and my name and mugshot on a sex offender list. [Edit: These girls are in college, so I could go back to TAFE..ugh]

I was going to end this entry with a super ~kewt~ video but it's hard to find a solid clip that isn't some fan video with shit songs and Windows Movie Maker effects. Some of the videos have had the embedding option disable too which makes me bawww.

I found Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Between Danielle Steele and Mills & Boon.

I scribble a little

Junk Mail Goldmine

I greet you!

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy.Her heart.

http://increddible-love.com/21597/I like sea, nature, travelling, laughing to tears, literature, interesting people, miracles, sunrises and sunsets, design, art, swimming, skating, positive emotions, space and love. Want to meet my ideal man and live each moment with Love! Love to laugh, will try anything once… within reason… lol! Can be spontaneous! Love the sun and hate cold, except if there is a fireplace glowing! Easy going!Love flowers! And I am a good cook! Always try to stay active! Love most animals! My match should be honest, sincere, tall and handsome! A man of his word! And easygoing! Knows what he wants out of life! Must be neat and well groomed. If he can cook or at least help in the kitchen... that would be great! My ideal partner must be Ideal relationship to my mind is based on trust, respect,mutual understanding, looking in one directions and accepting eachother the way it is with gratitude! Life is too short to live it not enjoying every moment!!

Hugs
Ulia S.

___________________

I just love it when guy's go down on my heart! You know it just makes me melt like Australia in January!

Ulia S kind of has the right idea. I know you can smell the loneliness from a mile away and the overuse of exclamation points kind of makes you think that she has the energy and personality of a Labrador pup but...

..oh you know what? don't worry, I can't be bothered defending her.

My dog is getting old

and it's making me sad.

This is the hangover talking

I am beat.

Whoremones

High School, Year 12. Apparently, the contents of my pencilcase and the case itself was so important to me that i'd commit homicide if anyone touched it. The heart at the end just gives it that little touch. This reminds me of something I see on Passive Aggressive Notes.

STFU, Breeders

Well..parents.
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

So now that we've got the first bunch of assholes (marriedz), you're going to have another set to supplement.

Parents. I don't have enough parents on my Facebook who like to announce their kids first shit, cracked nipples, weaning and all that stuff that takes me 10 steps back from my ~dream~ of having children. Parents with Facebook are deadly. Apparently when the mother gives birth, the baby flicks on a switch on the way out. It's a switch that allows the mother to reveal way too much information in social networking sites and neglect her friends hypersensitive gag reflex. I totally did nursing one year and i'm pretty sure i've covered this. I know you guys are happy and shit but I have reason to believe that you're spending more time, kneeling in front of your kid waiting for that miracle log to slip into the potty. STFU plz.

Oh and the best thing about this STFU addition is that it comes with some pretty amusing commentary.

Enjoy.

25.3.94

Teachers Comment:

Kristine shows eagerness in art. She has gained a greater physical stamina lately which can be attributed to her change in her eating habits. She also needs to acquire listening skills.

Couldn't hear you, I was running to the canteen to fill my pockets with red lollies. There was always a come down though.

You know...

..she's pretty hot here.

Like I know shes kind of looking like a hobo that ambles in soured laundry now, but she's looking like 30 different kinds of cool here.

I should probably start a campaign to roll Whitney back to 1985 but i've got my hands full with my social networking vanity projects.

Intolerable bathroom girl talk

I don't mind club bathroom small-talk about long lines and nice shoes, but those drunk girls with a little time and too many issues makes my womb shudder. Everything from ex-boyfriends (theirs or someone elses), girls that are "itchbays" and world peace (from what I heard from my stall on Friday night).

You don't just enter into a bathroom, you are now part of a sisterhood. You want to pee? Forget it, some girl wants to tell you about her bestfriends boyfriend's sisters ex. You want to check your make-up? hold on a second, this girl wants advice on re-connecting with her boyfriends ex. You get the idea.

You ladies are drunk and make me laugh half of the time. I know you girls need and maybe deserve a group hug, a hair-braiding session and a little lesbian fling but seriously, please let me pee.