Holy shits

Knowing that there is a dog that is better at math than me and that theres a limbless man who can swim from a to b makes me feel pretty pathetic. So to pick me up and feel less useless, I go to this blog www.sorry-mom.com. I'm not a militant feminist or see men as the apex of everything unholy, but I get a giggle looking at (from what I can make out) hot guys with weird fetishes.

Oh wow the dog and the limbless man have nothing to do with this. Amazing.

100

I'm far from religious. His christianity game is so solid and running strong, he even made a "repent" hat. I can't have this guy godblessing me all over my myspace and sending me peace and prayers. I'm so sure this guy is going to wake up with God and Jesus and the whole posse at the foot of his bed telling him that i'm only going to spray shit all over his faith. I'm going to spare this man the anguish and deny him of my friendship and tell him that I am a raging wiccan lesbian.

Junk Mail Goldmine

Aloha, my gentleman

I entered this site for to help you to find me here. I believe you are here also looking for me. And I'll write several words for you to understand it's me! http://super-biglove.com/lovesite/I am a kind, calm, sociable woman. I am an optimistic person and I am often in a good mood. I am a wonderful company. I can listen to. I am good at doing housekeeping. I am a wonderful mother. I love nature. I enjoy having a rest in the countryside with my friends. I want my future husband to be not only a tender and loving wife, but also a good friend.

Sincerely yourth
Ksenya Z.


_________________________


Dear Ksenya Z,

I have several words for you too, sugar.

I think the superbiglove.com gives me a hint at just how heavy you are. This explains why you would say that you are "a wonderful company", you're large enough to be one. You're kind of like the last Juliet that aloha-ed me a while ago and i'm starting to think that you're all coming from the same borough. The education system must be appaling because my god, that garb you wrote me almost made me pick up the house from it's foundation and hulk smash it to my face. I don't think I meet your criteria because being a tender loving husband-wife sounds like a lot of fucking work. There's this place in Sydney called Kings Cross, you can find many people out there who can be both husband and wife for a standard rate of $150 an hour. There is an extra fee if you're planning on travelling out of the state but that's a different story for a time that I hope won't ever happen because you sound like a real fucking freak and I don't want to meet you even though you've rudely assumed that I do.

You sound like a woman that spends too much time watching Lifetime movies and not enough time finding your soulmate. The kind of gal that was always involved with criminals on death row or middle eastern men who, for some odd reason, completely disappear when you send them money to pay for their airline ticket.

Put down the knitting needles, stop knitting ridiculous cosies for household items that don't need cosies or yourth never going to find anyone


You smell like potpourri and cheap talcum powder,


Kristine

It's not normal to consume this novelty size bullshit in under 10 minutes

This was a pretty big sandwich for me. Depending on where you live, this could be the same for you or you're probably laughing because where you are, this is a canopée.

I'm allowed to publish this nonsensical trash

Back from a night at Lazer Zone, incredibly beat from running around shooting people even though the game was over.

I was dressed up in 80's gear so if you were there and saw me coming... you'd have no idea how to handle the situation. Just let me shoot your stupid vest and step aside so I can chase your friends. My brown leopard print jacket was designed to throw people off their game. I remember one moment where I found the opposition huddled into a corner and if you hooked me up to an ECG you would have seen rapid flickering because it was 9000 different kinds of horrid delight. If you've read this far, you're probably worrying so here's a cute koala

It's like a passport photo!

iPoor

This might have to be my greatest Salvation Army find yet

I don't have an income so I usually only shop at stores that sell pre-owned clothing. From all walks of life...dead or alive. There was a moment where I got a little shiver up my spine thinking that maybe my clothing was peeled off a carcass but, I actually don't care. It gives the clothing a little edge.

Anyway, there used to be an 'E' and 'D' patch over that tooth shaped (i'll get to that later) hole. I only figured that out when I decided to ditch ED and to my surprise the previous owner had patched up burn marks and holes.

Christ.

Patch after god damn patch, nothing was sitting well. They seemed out of place and I felt it was decreasing the value of the jacket and my hopes of saving this treasure was melting, along with my face. So, I cut the hole and shaped it into a tooth and now I have created an unofficial collaboration with Nike.

Christ Almighty

It feels like a Garry Busey meltdown here. This heatwave is fucking amazing. I'm waiting for birds to fall out of the sky and posties to tip over and pass out on lawns.

I'm watching the news and Michael Phelps can't compete for three months and is no longer the long face of Kelloggs. Are you bawwwwling? I happen to think that cereal might be ideal for the munchies after a few bowls. Kelloggs are the ones suffering the serious loss.

I'll never understand...

why this has to be so cute

He or she felt a tad too hot and went for a bit of a dip. It drank a bit of the water before it started being cute.

He probably can secretly talk.

Accidental napping

I never meant to. I was just kicking back on the old bed playing the "Would you rather..." and "What if..." games by myself and somehow nodded off. Most likely after asking myself if i'd rather do Clint Eastwood or Mickey Rooney. Eastwood outflanks Rooney and I just got a shiver up my spine.
So i'm napping and I had a short dream about Gran Torino and Clint Eastwood shot me in the face and I woke up to half a sweaty face and a lot of questions.

Anyway, unfortunatly i'd still do Clint Eastwood than that wrinkle-roundface Rooney. That is, if we're talking about Eastwood now and he had the gun again. I'd do it willingly, without protest if it was Dirty Harry Eastwood.


Eastwood count= 6. I'm going back to the nap.